I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!
June 9, 2019
My relationship to men used to be same as it was to food. I used to fast for days (sometimes even weeks, month) up to a point where I really knew what I was craving for, it became crystal clear. I went to a restaurant and I couldn't find what I was craving for. Sometimes I did but it didn't smell tasty, it was stale. And still, I ate it. I ate it because I was craving for it for such a long time.
I'm not craving young men sowing their wild oats, I'm craving pleasure.
I imagine a night with my lover would let me feel groggy. I spend it alone and I feel groggy anyway. I examine where my true needs are. I'm craving a spiritual connection with physical grounding through heART to heART communion. What craves to be nourished is my soul, not my ego. I won't find what I'm craving for in a restaurant. I'll find it home.
I decide to eat the hole in a donut and practice deep receiving in my mind.
I don't run away, I let you run the show. You take a bold step and I follow you by stepping beyond of who I think I am. This way we're both moving into possibility. This way we're both entering something bigger than ourselves.
Instead of depleting ourselves we're learning how to replenish. We bring our attention to our physical beings and their rhythm of breath. We give ourselves space to become. We give ourselves space to become purely aware of the sanctity of the self, yours and mine. You go your way, I go mine. We meet where mine is yours and yours is mine. In this moment there is nothing to transcend- it is through our body, through this life that we touch the nature of The Divine.
We give and we receive. We give and we give up all the other worlds except the one to which we belong. We belong to the source of all longings.
Tantra is not about chasing whims. It's not about Wellness, it's about Wholeness. It's ancient art weaved into this story.