I believe in linguistic mysticism and bipolar symbology of god/goddess. The sufisticated (yes you´ve read it right SUFIsticated) part of me would like to become a muse for God, even though I don´t believe in it. I don´t believe in it because it brings me direct association with Monotheistic religions which are the source of contemporary hypocrisy between the declared ideal and reality.
I don´t believe in God but sometimes I feel like a flute under his lips.
I don´t practice spirituality, I make love to it. Tantra challenges me to accept the world as it is, it wakes me up from dreaming and fantasizing of how it should be, making me a co-creative participant.
Because of my upbringing, I got used of giving compassion and putting up with receiving impatience when being in love with another human being. Instead of contemplating my own experiences, men used to project theirs on me. As I've learnt recently, this phenomenon is called ˝RESIDING in Zeus´s abdomen˝ (Living in a world of male dominated definitions about who women are and who they are supposed to be)
This scenario made me float, I became a muse and I´ve lost myself and supressed my emotions. I was left with no colors inside this black-white shell of me. I´ve been losing a lot of strenght resisting these kinds of emotional domination.
When I meet awareness of my true nature and marry it with expansive world of wonder, I stop wandering around. Oriented to darśana (the map of my spiritual path) I take firm steps forward and still mind the gaps of strange misunderstandings on the way. I like to remain incoherent but grounded, because intellect does not hold primary role in formulating my understandings of reality.
When will my true nature choose to reveal its fullness again with another human being? When will I feel more love than I feel fear?
I think one of the greatest misinterpretations in Neotantrik circles stems from succumbing to pressure that you need to force yourself to feel love even in circumstances when all the cells of your body are popping FEAR. This deeply-engraved numbing systematization often leads to ABUSES.
I´ve met a lot of Transformers in spiritual circles. Transformers are ˝spiritual˝ teachers who are robots whose sole power of transformation lies in possessing or dreaming of possessing cars and women. Because these spiritual robots are soul-deprived, their bodies make a perfect place for frequent entity possession because of all of their jilted past lovers.
What can we do to mitigate future HARM? Scream as so many women do these days on their fb live? Cry it all out? If we´re constantly thinking about past, we´ll have very little energy to deal with present challenges. I like the chinese word for crisis weiji 危機, because the ji part itself holds the meaning of CHANCE AND OPPORTUNITY 機會 jihui. It is by transforming ourselves that we transform our lives. The abusive guru archetype which is bubbling over right now is giving us a chance to speak up and see through. We all need to speak truth and bring awareness to hypocritical HAREMS of abusive gurus and spiritual teachers.
Men and women need to stop actively resisting the feminine principle because this resistence is making them emotionally numb. We need to accept the fact that our healing depends on our willingness to be healed, not on our egos. The idea of complementarity is not based on idealism. We need to bring awareness to deep rooted fear of the feminine and allow women to root themselves and bring balance.
We won´t become numb if we´re able to allow ourselves emotional fluidity. Purification of our emotional states should be a necessary prerequisite of Tantrik practice, which does not mean supressing fear and jumping in love. We need to blend our emotional states and produce passion for life and compassion for human beings.
We're not fragile, we're resilient. This whole SPIRITUAL ABUSE SCENE is a clear indicator that our sisterhoods need to evolve. The harshest egos are spiritual egos and people like Padma have a lot of followers and imitators. Get acquainted about their techniques of manipulation because the chances are that your female friends will not warn you after being abused themselves and you will have to realize over the time that there are more than dozens of them who were (or still are) toys of only one of them. BUT THERE ARE MANY. And they will continue their wicked games as long as women are going to seek their attention and neglect to see the harsh reality behind it all. Women, we have a chance to rise and heal the feminine inside us and our societies. We can do this today; day by day, everyday. Not tomorrow or someday in the future. By healing ourselves not them. THE CENTER OF LIFE IS NOT OUT, IT'S IN YOUR CENTER. We need to give up fantasizing about perfection. Our good intentions are not enough. We need to start building real (honest) relationships with each other by starting to honestly speak and warn each-other about guru abusers among our spiritual circles. We need to protect women from STDs and future harm and bring harmony into the World. Connectivity makes us human, connectivity makes the world go round.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!