I associate the word bond with chains which hold me as a prisoner and prevent me to move around freely. My greatest value in life is freedom which doesn´t mean absence of responsibility. I don´t fear commitment but at the same time I believe that cultivation of skills of successful singlehood is an important ingredient of a successful relationship, one that will challenge and illuminate me and my partner to the deepest levels of our beings. I´m not honing my singlehood skills by fishing around for sexual opportunities, but I do take time and effort for purification, developing deeper appreciation and respect, embracing and loving the real, authentic me.. This kind of love does not teach me to escape sharing it (me) with others, but it sure is the best self-coaching method of unattachment.
Tantra means to weave, to create a fabric of wholeness, so you can flow through life challenges in your natural self with a sense of ease. Tantra brought to Western world sadly brings expectations of a pussy cat playing with a ball of thread; there is no process of weaving anything, it is mostly having fun and challenging other people´s boundaries.
Many people live according to idea that does not fit their nature and circumstances that don´t resonate with their hearts- their greedy mindsets are convincing them that they are tantrics when in fact they are losing their jing 精, natural essences which are forming the base of their sexual energy. Naturality is not an escape from complexity, it is harmony in complexity. The prerequisite for this is an enlightened communication coming from a pure place of heart, not from mental constructs of what's pure and what's not, what's right and what's wrong. Daoists do not separate the heart and the mind, same goes for Tantrics who distinguish the heart citta – the core of being, from the emotional center (we reach citta through meditation, as opposed to mansa or the intellect).
I learned through my past relationships, that only a few men or women can actually handle multiple partners. The majority is only deluding themselves. I was giving it a chance, but I found out that I would be deluding myself as well. I don´t enter a relationship which level of intensity is not on a very high degree (This intensity should not come only out of unresolved issues from the past). I enter the merging process out of genunine desire to be with somebody, not out of needines.
Authentic Tantra is a path of creativity through which we bring heavenly vibrations into our shared earthly experience. It´s gift is to embody divine identity within cultural identity and it is very important to face up the cultural programmings which are pushing on your buttons on the way. Otherwise you may end up manipulating or being manipulated by your gurus and different kinds of self-proclaimed tantrics you´ll be meeting on your way.
One of the programmings that is very present in formation of my patterns is anger which stems from awareness that many man, on conscious or subconscious levels want to dominate and control their woman/women. The other aspect of this anger of mine is passion and many men seem to be terrified by it. Instead of taking the chance to destabilize their deepseated mental constructs and honoring what is currently manifesting through me, they opt for ignorance which is the soul cause of bondage.
The sense of oneness and openness does not include accepting bondages. It does not include submitting myself to becoming a static entity. If you practice tantra from the perspective that you´re not good enough, other people will wield their power over you for their personal gain. Be aware that you´re coming from a place of a pure heart but trust your guts as well. All relationships involve exchange of energy. Female receptive, uterine energy is absorbtive therefore it is deeply affected not only by sexual but also by emotional connections we are establishing with others. If negative emotions are carried on the energy exchange, other person´s fragments will become embedded in us; in our auric field as well as in our uteruses (if you had sex). Men who do not own their shit, but practice escaping it are not only doing damage to themselves and us; we are doing damage to society at large. We need to stop mistakenly connecting love and compassion to taking on their negativity. This is not a form of caring and compassion. It is a form of (self-)destruction.
I am a dancing pattern of energy. I don´t submit. I know how to surrender to love by myself. When I will be surrendering to love with somebody else, IT WILL BE AN ACT OF CO-CREATION, NOT OF CO-DEPENDENCY.
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