I would like to create soulful love and I´m aware that the main ingredients for this endeavour are two; knowing my soul and knowing my nature. I know both of them by now, and I feel it is time to find somebody who knows them too. Not mine, but his. It is time to merge and create but before I merge I need to heal.
I would like to write about the importance of time and healing and I´ve been inspired by observing my surroundings. People like to rush into things, and 21st century is giving them perfect conditions as well as incentives to continue rushing. Not many of them ask themselves what is the price. Most are convinced that time is money, but it was only over time that I´ve learnt what it really is. Time is life; when you are living according to your soul´s song. Life is sexual energy, in this way you are using it for healing. Time is sleep; when you are living according to programmings, which are not really yours, but were installed into you either by your society, your religion, education or simply fashion or anything else. Life is sexual energy, in this way you are losing it.
Do you prefer using your sexual energy in a creative way, or losing it? Ask yourself another question; Can money buy you what you already have inside of you?
Money cannot help you find your soul, time can.
It makes me very sad, when I see people jumping from one relationship into another. I feel sad for them and for their (potential) partners, because they are entering them unhealed. They are entering the terrene full of fears, mostly fears of being alone. They haven´t given themselves a chance to heal their sadness and disappointments from previous relationships (including primary relations that they've inherited from their parents), so they are not coming from a fresh and creative state of mind (and body). They fall in love mechanically, they do it in a state of numbness. They also do it full of projections, be it consciously or unconsciously. And then they expect magic to happen. Their dreams are a delusion.
In chinese language, heart is drawn as an empty space with fire around it 心.
Our problem is that we only see the fire, we are only drawned by fire, but we are completely unaware of the importance of emptiness. If you want to become a container which will be penetrated by grace of heavenly wisdom, you need emptiness of the heart. And you don´t create emptiness with filling it with external things and external people. You create it by connecting to your inner core and emptying it until you reach your natural state again. It is not something you do with help of drugs, alcohol, faith or illusions, because they unground you, put your natural self to sleep, and let entities to take over. It is something which can be done without any external resource, all that is needed are time and devotion; your time and your devotion.
Last year somebody very promising came into my life. I wish I could say He was better than his word. He wasn´t. He came into my life under the guise of helping me FEEL LOVE, but I FELT sLOVEnia instead. (Slovenia is my homeland, a beautiful country of only 2 millon people). This particular person handed dozens of women down my womb, then he left me alone to deal with them. And I am, I am dealing, I am hurting and I am healing as he continues by handing down all of these toxic energies to new dozens of women.
The Speciality of a country of the size of Slovenia is that we are meeting on the streets, me and these women, in spite of the fact that we are not prostitutes. We are naive women, women who believed in love and sexual freedom even when there was no love and no respect present from the other side (or at least not one which would have exceeded the period of a couple of days, maybe weeks) Women of different yonis, different backgrounds, different age and different food preferences. Most of them remain silent, but some of them have the courage to speak to me. Some of them even became my friends and this is what constitutes the greatest part of my healing. We are crying and laughing together and we are actively creating a space for a NEW WOMAN TO EMERGE. A woman who won´t be detached from her natural feminine, but who will detach herself from all the unnatural patriarchal values that were being installed on her and her ancestors for far too long.
More and more of us are embodying or on our way to embody the words of Doña Celestina;
˝Women have the reproductive and the evolutionary control and they shouldn´t have to take it at the last minute with abortion or pills. There are other paths to pleasure besides penetration. WOMEN CONTROL THEIR WOMBS. THEY CAN USE THAT. THEY CAN PUT THE BRAKES ON AND SHOULD BE MORE SELECTIVE. They have the capacity to focus on quality rather than quantity. Women will compete with another for even the most pitiful dick on the planet. They need to stop doing that. If they would work together and support one another in this revolution, the whole world would turn around like that!˝
Chinese use the same character 樂 to depict joy as well as music, that is why the other part of my healing is calling for a musician. A musician who will have the (will)power to heal my heart. A musician who will take time.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!